This particular cultural difference, is, in my experience, a big reason so many intercultural relationships fail; I know one girl I met texted me five times the next day – a serious no-no for me but standard procedure for her.
The man is generally supposed to handle all the decision making in Chinese dating, and some girls take this very seriously.
Think about it: when you consider what to do in terms of relationships, don’t you use your parents’ marriage and/or relationships as a reference point?
Be careful what you confess on your first date/meeting/interview.
While these rules are sometimes relaxed for Chinese dating foreigners, that’s not always the case.
For men, things overall are not as strict: there isn’t the fervent marriage-expiration-date-countdown (aka the much-documented 剩女 (shèng nǚ) - “leftover women” phenomenon), and familial pressure tends to be a bit lighter than it is for their female counterparts. We’ve talked before about some of the , women can often afford to be choosy.
Altogether, the cultural emphasis on marrying early, particularly for women, means that dating is imbued with a lot more meaning and isn’t something to be taken lightly.
Understanding this, more than anything else, is the key to a successful Chinese dating experience.
So we’ve gotten a few questions lately about dating in China.