Happy healthy relationship dating compability couple
Most emotionally healthy people who are going through a divorce will engage in a bit of self-reflection as they attempt to determine how they could have done things differently throughout the course of their relationship.
So if your partner is saying he’s completely blameless in his divorce or playing the victim, be curious as to why he is not taking responsibility for his own faults.
Maybe he always wanted to work late or on the weekends. Her betraying him probably really hurt her husband, and certainly didn’t help her marriage.
Maybe by the time he came home from work he was tired and wasn’t interested in sex. But is he blameless for the breakdown of their relationship? Relationships don’t happen “to you”; relationships are co-creative.
Does he make quips about women and their intelligence or emotional “volatility”? Whatever his attitudes are, the important thing to note is, “do his attitudes match up with perspective?
” Refusing to Take Responsibility Divorce isn’t something that just happens overnight.
But if he is routinely expressing those bad feelings about her within earshot of you, his preoccupation with his divorce or separation may mean that he has some unresolved feelings.
But if he is also maintaining a strict separation between you and his family, or you and his friends, then it’s reasonable to wonder why. That’s not making space for the relationship to grow and evolve.
If you are only getting calls from him during weird “off” hours, all of your dates involve you meeting him somewhere on the outskirts of town, or he avoids taking you to family functions or gatherings with friends, be curious as to why it appears that he isn’t comfortable with having you in his social circles. Let him know your desire to meet his friends and family, and see what he says. Not only is it demoralizing to feel like you’re being swept under the rug all the time, but it really holds back the possibility of your relationship growing into its full potential; growing into a relationship that’s truly fulfilling for the both of you.
Forcing You to Go Incognito It makes sense that a man who is newly divorced may be hesitant to bring a new love interest around his children if he is a divorced dad.
As his children are coping with the loss of their family unit as they know it, introducing a new woman into his family too soon may really worry and confuse them, further adding to their sense of instability. (It can happen in a divorce, especially when a couple shares mutual friends.) But if you want a normal relationship; if you want your relationship to grow and evolve, but your partner insists on “sneaking around” or hiding you from his friends and family, then that’s not normal.Badmouthing Women in General Some men walk away from a bad breakup convinced that all women are the devil.