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A few years later when we were moving, I found a stash of porn DVDs – close to a hundred – and asked him about it.
He said to just throw them away – he had just used them while we were living apart for a year prior to marrying.
Several days later, while looking again through the cache I found two emails from yet another email account and demanded he show it to me.
After hemming and hawing about not remembering the password, he finally showed me the site and after much surfing around I found two emails confirming he had been with at least two prostitutes.
The only time he seems to have a genuine emotion is when he is expressing feelings associated with HIS loss. I am terrified of raising my children alone, of starting over, of how a divorce could negatively affect my kids.
Everything is about him – his pain, his frustration, his discomfort.
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We are in marriage counseling and currently living apart. I watch my girls play and feel such a profound loss – of the family I thought we had, as flawed as it may have been.